Why does Corona taste like a burp?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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