It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Randomize
