This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Randomize
