Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
another moral hangover. fuck.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
