Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
