I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
this will be a night to untag.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
