Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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