I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
