9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
