Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
