i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
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you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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