two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
