The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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