I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
