I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
