Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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