I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
