yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
