I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
