so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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