I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
