the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Couch. On fire.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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