you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
