A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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