Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
