Its about making memories worth repressing
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
