I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
