FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
