well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Sober January is a disaster.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
