So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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