Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Randomize
