I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
