i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Randomize
