my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Everything about him screamed your future.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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