Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
