Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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