something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
