Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
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