like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
