apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
