I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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