Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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