i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
