Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
