The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
