When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
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