Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
