I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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