Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Boobs speak an international language.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
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