I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
