I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
