Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
It's blow job season.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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