i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Why can't burritos get me drunk
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
