didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
