Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
