I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Randomize
