Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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