Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
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He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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