i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
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