Can i not drive my cunt home
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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