Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
