Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
how can u be prego again
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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